As I viewed the two real world examples, I saw a very different approach, but yet a lack of enticement in both of them. I can definitely see how using parallelisms could have helped both of the ads out, but both ads would need to undergo extensive shifting before being successful with parallelisms. The first ad to me had too much information. Unless I had previously known about the Crocker Science House, I probably woul have glanced at it and walked away. The one thing that did grab my attention was the little star looking thing that reads $1,000 Scholarship awarded to each scholar. Perhaps to have parallelisms, the ad could have added "Acommodations and Historical Facts--The Crocker Science House:," and then proceeded to give us information.
The second posting was a lot easier for me to read, but lacks the ability to get me to want to join. To me it would do better to start off the list by saying "By getting involved with our group, you will:." To me that is a little more enticing phrase to catch my attention. I would also rearrange the bullets and take a couple of the items out of the list.
